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Monday, March 28, 2011

My Butterfly Story

Please click on this link to get where you need to go!

http://smatoday.blogspot.com/2011/02/my-butterfly-story.html

Friday, March 25, 2011

BLUEEYED REVENGE :P -- THE MATT LIAR UNABASHED INTERVIEW

                      Please click on this link to listen to the classic music of Louis XIV
                                              "They're Coming To Take Me Away HaHa"

Today, the greatest artwork and the greatest human accomplishment in history was acheived at 6:30am.
Mr. Unabashed Left drew this masterpiece!!!
The date:
March 25th, 2011 Anno Domini.      
The Mainstream Media Today Show on March 25th, 2011 interviewed Mr. Unabashed Left (aka ‘Steve Alexander’) on the subject of his perfect artwork penned earlier that morning. It was the first perfect art, or perfect action ever performed by a human, and officially the most beautiful sight ever seen. MSM Today Host Matt Liar began the interview as follows:

Matt Liar: Good morning Mr. Left. An honor to meet you sir.

Unabashed Left: Hey man, what’s happenin’?

Matt Liar: I need to tell our MSM viewers that Mr. Left has agreed to answer our questions only provided that he has the opportunity to ask one question of his interviewer, ME, at the outset. So in the interest of fairness, in order to simply get this interview, viewers and advertising revenue for NBC Universal [listed on the New York Stock Exchange, and recently responsible for attempting to intimidate and forcing Keith Olbermann out of his job as a legitimate news commentator for solely political reasons], and in order to accomplish the self-aggrandizement which has been the hallmark of MY ‘career,’ Mr. Left: Your question, please?

Beautiful, huh?
Unabashed Left: OK, Mattster, I’ve always wanted to askya sumthin’. Not ‘Where in the world is Matt Liar???’ I wanna askya ‘Where the heck is your head at Matt Liar?’ Hmm? Where the heck izit at, dude???


Matt Liar: Well, since I am mandated to answer your question in order to proceed with this ratings-grabbing interview, Mr. Left, my head is firmly attached to my investment portfolio, sir. Now for the questions that matter, MINE. How did you come to achieve this masterpiece this morning?


Unabashed Left: Well, dude… it wuz exactamente like this. I was sittin’ trying to get caffeinated this a.m. with some generic store-brand French roast coffee (light cream, 1 ½ sugars in case you’re keeping score, and if any companies are interested, I’ll endorse any dairy company and say it was their cream and name any supermarket chain as the coffee I was drinking in exchange for a 7 to 10 figure financial remuneration—I AM in the market for endorsements). I grabbed me a magic marker and something round and started to trace and draw. Only one draft required, man! Came out great, dontcha think, Matt Liar-Man???


Matt Liar: And Mr. Left, what does this piece of art represent, sir?


Unabashed Left: What IS wrong with you, dude?? You don’t know what that is? It’s a tongue stickin’ out my friend. And look. Now I’m a doin’ it to you Mattman!

Unabashed, exposing his tongue to the MSM/NBC Universal interviewer.
In the Arab world and had Mr. Left been raised in that culture, he would have removed his shoes
and displayed the bottom of those shoes to Mr. Matt Liar at this point in the interview.


Matt Liar: And Mr. Left, what was your motivation for this wonderful sketch?


Unabashed Left: LINDA BLUEEYES, man!!! She’s this chick online who calls herself Linda BlueEyes. It’s aimed at HER, Man! She also calls herself the Rhode Island Liberal, dude, in case yer interested in a more positive I.D.! That lady sticks her tongue out at me all the time on Facebook.com unprovoked, man! She’s freakin’ brutal with that. Un-freaking-real that woman iz!! Outa the clear blue the other day she sends me a ‘private message’ ya know what I mean, dude?? I’m figurin’ maybe a fan letter, a compliment, or MAYBE an offer of cash or prizes, yaknow? Or possibly an invite to break bread or sumthing?? I open it and what do I see? It’s a freakin’ picture of a frog with its freakin’ tongue stickin’ out at me!!! I mean really dude! Even YOU can understand that diss, can’tcha Mattster???

Already the topic of 25 University dissertation proposals, and analyzed far and wide,
this Magnum Opus of human accomplishment was accomplished in less than 10 minutes!!!!!


Matt Liar: Yes, I certainly can see how one might take offense to a picture of that na….


Unabashed Left: Be quiet Matt-o-Mattic, I’m the one that’s s’posed to be talkin’ here! So gettin’ back to the story at hand. Ol’ BlueEyes sends this frog, right? And I tell her back sumthin’ like she’s an amphibian and mentionin’ primordial ooze and what-not, yaknow?? I mean ya gotta come to your own defense sometimes, Mr. Mainstream Floor-Matt—do ya get my drift?? ANYHOW… Where was I? I lost my train of thought. My sponsor used to say “Ya got a brain, not a train!” I recommend that particular sponsor to Charlie Sheen, by the way—he’ll yank that dude’s covers man, without hezzz-eee-ta-shunnn! You might just wanna look into his qualifications too there Matt-o-Centric, I think there’s a 12 step program for that! Wow, dude, now I’m really lost. Holy cow. Where the freak was I? Where am I? Why am I here?


Matt Liar: You were explaining your inspiration for your great work of art which you produced 4 hours ago, has been reported in the NY Times and all over the world as the pinnacle of human accomplishment, has been already nominated for the Pulitzer Prize, the Nobel Peace Prize and the Nobel Prizes for Economics, Medicine, Literature AND Physics, a Tony, an Emmy, an Oscar, has caused the U.S. Congress and President Obama to unanimously pass and sign a bill making your birthday a national holiday(‘Steve Day’-December 19th each year) and you’ve been on this show soliciting endorsements. You were saying that Linda BlueEyes sticks her tongue out at you and that is the inspiration for this work of fine art. Please continue, Mr. Left.
Besides approaching Mr. Left with repeated ;-p 's and :p 's, Ms. BlueEyes sent a "Private Messaage"
to Mr. Left depicting a frog sticking its tongue out at Mr. Left. She also publicly tagged
the Unabashed One in this photo on facebook.com!!!


Unabashed Left: ENDORSEMENTS??? Wow, man. What an awesome concept! Did I think that one up or did you?


Matt Liar: It was you who mentioned endorsements first, Mr. Left.

 Unabashed Left: Wow man! Pretty smooth on my part then, I do hafta say. :-D And I really DO need the cash Mattman! In case any Wall Streeters or Mad Av guys + gals are ‘a watchin’ I’ll endorse freakin’ ennything at this point. NOT weapons or ennything having remotely to do with the Defense Department, but otherwise everything else is on the table man, ya know what I mean? I want contracts like Michael Jordan had, like Tiger Woods had before he went south, yaknow???


Ennyhow, that BlueEyed chick, I sent her a photo of John McCain, Steven Colbert and some lizard--all stickin’ their tongues out at her simultaneously after she stuck hers out at me yesterday evenin’ man! I told her she wuz getting it from the left now AND from the right. AND I told her the lizard with the protruding licker looked like the photo of herself (the frog, man, LOL galore, man, ya know what I mean?) she sent me the other day. But she just wouldn’t end it there. I had somewheres to be and she just kept it up. She wanted the last word or icon, and had somewheres to be, too. She’s a woman, and she did fi-nly get that last word in, if’n’ya get my drift. So this morning I’m havin’ coffee, and inspiration hits and THIS fine product is the result. I’m gonna Matt that sucker and frame it in remembrance of Linda BlueEyes, the Rhode Island Liberal, as a token of the esteem of the Connecticut Unabashed Leftist liberal. Peace, man. And Matt, man, you’ve been on-camera for decades now. Unstiffen yourself, man, loosen up that spinal column, and lighten up. It’s about time. Ya ain’t even a Ken Doll ennymore, if’n ya ever wuz 1, so an I-beam spine looks even sillier now than it did when ya wuz 30 yearz old, dude! LOL, man! And dude, donate all your cash ‘Today’ to: la-spca.org, it’s a really gudd cause man! Peace...
Inspired by the online actions of Linda BlueEyes, the sketch, according to Artist Left, represents
One Woman's Inhumanity to a Man.

Monday, March 21, 2011

My President Obama Rally Story

Click on this link
(it's 'We Are The World by George Michael) and listen to this cool song while you look at my page:


Hi everybody. This here is the 'First Family.'
That's Malia, Michelle, President Obama and Sasha's sittin' on his lap.
:)
Cute picture, huh?
Uncle Unabashed took me to a rally last October to see the President.
It was in Bridgeport, CT at a place called
"The Arena at Harbor Yard."
It was the Saturday before the election, on October 30th.
It was fun!
The next day was Halloween.
Boo.
We went to see Bill Clinton that night, Halloween night.
It was kinda scary seeing Bill Clinton Halloween night. Lol.
Not really, I'm just joking
with President Clinton.
:-D

My friend, Bella is a big weather fan, and she
has some awesome facebook weather pages, including
The Weather Explorers (T.W.E.).
Uncle Unabashed made up a sign and wore it on his back for
President Obama.
That, right there is the sign!
:-D

We met a real candidate there, she was running for
Secretary of the State.
Her name was Denise, she was nice and so was her campaign manager.
These ladies like Denise.
Me 2!
That was fun.

We went inside this really big hall and saw a bunch of people there and a
big American flag.
Governor candidate Dan Malloy spoke and the rally was really for him.
He won Governor, by the way.
:))))))))))

Then President Obama came out and everyone cheered.
This guy in front of me got so excited he pumped his fist in the air!
It was great!
The President was awesome!
Everyone loved what he had to say!
Fun, fun, fun!

That's Uncle Unabashed. He wore the The Weather Explorers(T.W.E.)
on facebook sign on his back.
He also wore a red Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro
sticker on his hat and a "Vote 2010" sticker on his lapel, and got all
dressed up in a suit and tie.
He said he wanted Barack to notice him.
I wonder???
Hmmm.

Outside Uncle Unabashed ran into Joe Ganim,
he said Joe used to be Mayor of Bridgeport.
Joe seemed to be real popular.

Uncle Unabashed said it's a pretty good country where
kids like Sasha, Malia and nice people like Barack and Michelle
get to be in the White House.
Uncle Unabashed said he used to be mad a lot about the government,
but that he's perty happy with all that
President Obama's
done and what he's trying to do!
He said:
YES WE CAN!
YES WE DID!
YES WE WILL!
YES, SIR, JUST SAY THE WORD!

And please don't forget to donate today to:
since they help kitties and doggies.
The end.
For now.
:)
<3
LISA

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

MY WAR STORY

Please click this link to The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill by The Beatles and listen
as you look:


Hi everybody! It's me, Lisa! :)
How are you?
Happy, I hope?
I am. Mommie took me to talk to my Congersman 2day!
I wanted to talk to him about war.
I don't like war at all, it gets me real mad. I think its dumb.
People die and stuff. They shoot each other and bomb each other
and I hear they even torture kids and stuff! Horrible, terrible things
to do to people and my Congersman, his name is
John Bunk, causes a lot of it. I know, I read the newspaper every day.
:)
Congersman Bunk looked kinda funny ifya ask me. It sure looked
like he had make-up on. And his hands were all soft and he kept
rubbin' em. I asked Mr. Bunk, and he said he used to be a hand model.
That's funny. I laughed. He made a mean face.
Shhh. I'm LOL'ing right now.
;-)
He wuz dressed perty funny 2! He had on this get-up with a jacket
and this stiff shirt that looked like he wuz choking.
Then he had a piece of cloth around the collar of the shirt that
was tied real tight around his neck.
I asked him what the cloth wuz 4.
He said it wuz decoration to make him look gudd.
Shhh, again.
It made him look funny!
Shehehehehe.
Hahahaha.
Don't tell him I said so.

I just wore my jeans. Plain. I like bell-bottoms becuz
I don't hafta take off my shoes if I hafta change into
my gym shorts or sumthin.
I didn't wear a jacket or tie.
;-)
So this is what we said to each other:
Me: Hi Congersman Bunk. I'm Lisa. I want to ask you a question.
Congersman Bunk:  Go ahead Lisa. Thank you for coming today.
Me: You're welcome. Why do you like war, Congersman Bunk?
Congersman Bunk: I don't like war at all Lisa. Unfortunately, we
have enemies and must have an army to defend ourselves. I wish
our service men and women didn't have to go into
harm's way.
Me: WRONG, Congersman Bunk!!! We don't have
all the enemies you say. We travel all over the world to
have wars. We have our wars in other peoples' countries.
You can't fool me MISTER Bunk!
I'm smart!
War causes people to die, they rot and stink.
Kids die!!! Animals do too!
You make excuses all the time.
I read that you make money on oil and own part of some
weapon companies. I think you do it to get
famous, popular and make money!
Congersman Bunk: Now Lisa, you can't believe everything you
read in the paper. You're young and don't understand everything
involved in important decisions about war and peace.
Me: You're horrible to say that!!! Just cuz I'm young, doesn't mean
I don't understand. YOU don't understand Mr. Bunk! It's YOU! YOU! How dare
you Mr. Bunk! You wanted to keep on building nuclear bombs
even though we made a deal with everyone in Russia to
cut down and maybe get rid of 'em! That's terrible!
There's no reason for nuclear bombs!
You're just being dumb.
You used to support talking with Russia and changed your
mind because you think it will get you elected President, huh?
I know!! I know!
It's just cuz you wanna be President!
Congersman Bunk: Now, now Lisa. I have no higher political goal than
to be your Senator. We have foreign enemies who
seek our destruction and must defend ourselves.
Me: That's BUNK[I giggled a little inside when I said that]!
You and all your friends just want to be powerful and control
everybody with money or whatever you can. You're in it for you only,
MISTER BUNK!!!
Me: Stop spending money on tanks, and planes, and missiles and bombs
and killing people NOW! Stop war. You can do it. You have the
power!
Stop the killing, Stop it now.

Now you can click on this song called Happiness Is A Warm Gun, also The Beatles.


Me: Your planes are dumb, your guns are dumb and so are you
Mister Bunk.
Just get out of Washington, go home and stay home, Mister Bunk
and leave everyone alone. I wanna live. I don't like uniforms
and I don't wanna go to war. I hate war!
Me: I know. I'm smart. You and your friends just do it for the money!!! You're
a jerk. A real jerk, Congersman Bunk!!!
Me: Reverend Sara told me about Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
A bunch of guys like you wearing ties and uniforms decided
to kill hundreds of thousands of people who didn't even OWN guns
in one minute. That's horrible. End the nukes, please you jerko!
You always say in the paper and on TV you're a Christian. I don't think
He likes what you do AT ALL!!!
Reverend Sara says war is never the answer.
You say it is.
I believe Reverend Sara,
NOT YOU!!!
Me: I wanna dump all your tanks and guns into a ditch, and take all
your power and money away now!
And I sure will!
You just mark my words,
MISTER BUNK!!!
Me: I'm gonna end war and stuff, and get people like you out of
power and make you poor for a change instead of
you being the rich guys.
Do you like soup kitchens,
Mister Bunk?
I'm gonna put you into a soup line Mr. Bunk.
Mister Bunk:
Give Peace A Chance!
Mommie and I left Congersman Bunk's office.
And Mommie and I,
we hugged, and hugged and hugged.
The end again.
For now.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Paula Poundstone Pounds Madison Av. Corporate Market Researcher

I hopped a Metro North RR Train(I guess they're all RR Trains,
the RR is probably redundant, please give me feedback) to
Manhattan yesterday to see Paula Poundstone do
stand up comedy at the Gramercy Theater.

Everyone, me included got a big bonus!!!
A Madison Avenue Market Researcher was in the audience and decided
to speak up.
:-D
Paula made mincemeat out of him!
He said he had his own business designing questions for state
tourism boards to ask on questionnaires.
She asked him to name a question he wrote.
He said:
"Why do you vacation in Colorado?"
The crowd roared with laughter.
LOLOLOLOL!
"How long you been doing this?"  Paula asked the ad exec.
"17 years," he replied.
The crowd roared again!
"That's the best you can do after 17 years?" Paula asked.
The exec was spacing. No comment.
The crowd roared again. LOL.
The exec said he had a prior job as an adman for Clorox Bleach.
Paula said Clorox is a terrible product and bad forya probably.
She said she was in "residential" and washed other
peoples' clothes with Clorox Bleach and mixed an orange item
with white items and barely escaped alive. Lol.
She said, "It says on the bottle it irritates your eyes."
She said "Everything irritates your eyes. But they're
not dumb enough to put it on the label.
This soda I'm drinking will irritate your eyes."
Paula demonstrated.
But they're not dumb enough to put that on the label.
The ad exec was silent and silenced.
Paula spends a lot of time working for NPR.
NPR decimates a lot of Corporate types often, too
and the Republican Party wants to eliminate
federal funding for NPR and Public TV.
Not too surprising, there.
:-D

There I am with Paula. Sorry the picture is so dark!
Cheap-ass Net 10 Phone. Grr.
Paula remembered that I was Unabashed Left when I showed
her my Unabashed business card.
She followed me on Twitter.
Wow.
Weird.
Me, not Paula.
Like her outfit?
Like mine?
Paula gave me her contact information so I can
do an interview with her soon. That's gonna be really cool.
I'm happy about that.

There's Paula on stage during the show just before I met her.
She wuz funnier than all get-go.
She has 16 felines.
She's crazy.
My 3 felines are enuff to keep track of.
Plus she has 3 human kids at home and a K9 or two.
Give me the K9's enny day, Paula Poundstone!
Cats are cool.
Kids are OK.
But K9's rule!
Do u hear that Paula P?
U do a very accurate imitation of felines barfing.
That's unfortunate, Ms. Poundstone.
You've obviously heard it way too often, and practice it far
too frequently.
U need more dogs!
They lick their balls
and will chase some too!
Then lick your face and
wag their tails.
Never seen a feline do that,
Ms. Poundstone.
But I'm not a species-centric kinda guy.
We're all in this one together.
So let's nail some corporate types and keep all the species going.
I'll donate to NPR.
And Public TV.
And not to Tan Man Boehner's re-election campaign.

Paula gave me her autograph and wrote out a note to me with my real
name and my Unabashed Name. I bet she thought I wuz strange.
Go figure, Paula Poundstone.
I AM!
I'M ECCENTRIC!
AND PROUD OF IT!
AND I PROPOSE A CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT PROTECTING
THE RIGHTS OF THE ECCENTRIC, I HOPE YOU'D SUPPORT
SUCH A MEASURE. AM I CORRECT, MS. POUNDSTONE? HMMM? AM I?

Look at the unbelievable size of the buildings in Manhattan.
Really tall, but not so wide.
Kinda like missiles.
Phallic, ifya ask me.
Mostly designed by men.
Go figure.
Manhattan Island is cram-packed with 'em!
Un-freakin'-believable!

Here's another!
They are on every street corner, these tall buildings.
They're building 'em so tall now that even
Superman wouldn't stand a chance at leaping
'em in a single bound.
Even if he hadn't committed suicide or had a neck injury that killed him.

This is Fifth Avenue as you can well see.
Over on Madison Ave they make up ads and try to make you
into a consumer oriented person.
Then ya go to the stores on 5th Ave and buy all their stuff that they advertise just
a few blocks away on Madison Ave.
And all the profits go just a few more blocks away to the billionaires on 
Wall Street.
I didn't stop in at Wall St yesterday, otherwise I'd
have been glad to show ya a picture of Wall Street, too!

This is just a kinda cool looking little park on 42nd Street, near
Grand Central Station.

And this is a wedding party that was having their picture
taken at Grand Central Station.
She's gorgeous, huh???
Yes, she is.
My, my.
And isn't that groom a lucky stiff this weekend.
In more ways than 1!!!
Thankya
Paula,
talk to you soon.
Peace...
And donate today to this cause becuz Paula likes catz and dogz
and so do I: