Republithief Prez "Contender" Sings His Own Version of John Lennon's Imagine:
Imagine There's No Pizza
The Latest Tea Party Flavor of the Month: HERMAN CAIN!
Ok. The Tea Party/Republithief Flavor of the Month is Herman Cain. Wow. It sure is hard for a satirical blogger to keep up with the right wing poll leaders. First there was Palin. Then Romney. Then Bachmann. Then Perry. Then ya had your Christie scare. Then Romney again. Now Herman Cain. Who’s on first? Does it really matter? Who cares. They all stand for the same thing. Concentrating wealth in the hands of the few, and keeping it there and concentrating it even more. All the rest is personality fluff. Self-aggrandizement which is amusing to say the least.
Like the rest of the GOP field, Herman's a crazy SOB.
Alright, so now a guy named Herman is fair game. Herman’ll be going back to being a hermit soon enough, once his 15 minutes of Presidential fame is up. I selected the particular Herman’s Hermits classic song attached here for good reason. The lyrics report that the lead singer of the Hermit crew, not Herman(his real name is Peter Noone) claims that “I’m not a crook, and if you think I look, I’ll tell you why and what my motives are.” Ya just can't be as rich as Herman Cain has gotten without being something of a crook. And because he has no campaign organization to speak of, and his schedule of appearances have not been targeted for key primary states, many have suggested (even within his own party) that his motives are more along the lines of a book tour or getting even more famous than of actually wanting to be president. In 2000 Herman ran another Quixotic campaign for the presidency, actually publicly admitting that his campaign wasn’t meant to win him the Republican nomination, but that it was more about making political statements and that “George W. Bush was the chosen one, he had the campaign DNA that followers look for." So Mr. Cain has a history of running campaigns for President which are designed to advance Herman Cain causes which have nothing to do with securing a nomination or actually winning elective office. Funny man, that Herman Cain.
Hopefully Herman Cain Will Do Like Peter Noone's Bandmates Did In The 1960's And Become A
Hermit
Once Again
Real Soon.
It’s fascinating to watch the mainstream media act as though Cain has never been a politician. It is definitely not for lack of trying. Besides his failed 2000 Prez bid, Cain ran for the Republithief nomination for a vacant Senate seat in his home state of Georgia in 2004, but lost in the primary by a dismal 503.3% to 26.2% drubbing at the election booth in his OWN HOME STATE! So that leaves the reader to decide why the corporate media are treating him as if he was the ‘non-politician’ in the race, when in fact he is just the 100% failed politician in the race. He’s 2 for 2. Two losses in two tries as a politician over a 12 year political career now, bankrolled by his millions in personal wealth which enables him to engage in his luxury of pursuing personal ambition politically.
Herman Cain's whole Prez campaign is designed to advance the interests of those who
hold all our wealth, the one percenters, the Koch Brothers and the like.
His 999 plan looks like a 666 plan to me.
Motivated by selfishness, greed,
contempt and wrongfulness.
Sick plan advanced
by a true
sicko.
And on that whole Pizza CEO Mythology surrounding this guy. Let’s get real. He was a mid level executive at mega-food conglomerate Pillsbury, Inc. It was they who put him in charge of their pizza restaurant division, Godfather. He started there, not as CEO, but as a salaried tie managing the failing subsidiary. His claim to fame within Pillsbury was to slash the number of retail outlets AND jobs, thereby creating a reduction on the expense side of the ledger for that subsidiary at the expense of the poorly paid part time employees who were let go for accounting reasons which enabled Cain to look good, and thereby creating a paper surplus for the Godfather subsidiary. Along with a partner who helped bankroll the purchase, Cain then bought out the much reduced-in-size Godfather chain, and then as soon as it was in his hands and out of Pillsbury’s went ahead and expanded the chain, essentially reopening the stores he had closed while he was still in charge of the chain under Pillsbury. THAT is Cain’s formula for business success! Cutbacks, layoffs, make yourself look good, buyout, reopen and pocket the profits. Meanwhile toying with peoples’ poorly paid part time pizza-chain slinging jobs which lack decent pay, hours or benefits. That’s Herman Cain in the nutshell. Self-serving and out to make himself look good and maximize his own personal bankroll and popularity at any cost. And disrespect for the average worker in the extreme is the hallmark of his ‘career.’Tom Petty had it right, this Republithief field is full of potential Heartbreakers if enny of 'em were to
actually win. I say what he says,
"Don't Come Around Here No More"
Especially you fake Prez candidate,
Herman Cain.
Cain also considers himself an associate minister at Antioch Baptist Church North, in Atlanta, yet another Republican right-winger who claims that his decision to run was told to him by God himself. The church’s Senior Pastor, Cameron Alexander, rebukes and rejects Herman Cain’s political misadventures.
I admit it.
I'm suspicious of a black dude who came almost from outa nowhere and
made his name selling pizza (not exactly soul food)
with a name I associate with a tasty but unhealthy condiment
more than I do with a possible leader of the free world
who sings gospel songs about mozzarella pies.
OMG!
In the pockets of billionaires, like the rest of the Republithief field, Herman Cain’s been on the payroll of Americans For Prosperity. According to Wikipedia “AFP was founded in 2004 when Citizens for a Sound Economy (CSE) split into Freedom Works (formerly Citizens for a Sound Economy), for 501(c) (advocacy activity, and the Americans for Prosperity Foundation (formerly the Citizens for a Sound Economy Foundation). Dick Armey, who had become chair of CSE in 2003 after retiring from Congress, stayed as chairman of Freedom Works, while David H. Koch stayed as Chairman of Americans for Prosperity Foundation. Like CSE, AFP was founded with the support of David H. Koch and Charles G. Koch of Koch Industries.[3][4][5] Citizens for a Sound Economy (CSE) had been established in 1984 by David H. Koch and Charles G. Koch. "CSE received almost $5 million from various Koch foundations between 1986 and 1990, and David Koch and several Koch Industries employees serve[d] as directors of CSE and the CSE Foundation."
It all kinda makes me wanna return to my original Vegan goal and skip the pizza altogether.
Just try turning Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 tax plan upside down and guess what you have. Simple answer: a 666 plan. Demonic and greedy by nature. Inherently regressive, a sales tax steals from those who have to spend their income rather than invest, and reducing the wealthiests’ income taxes to 9% is a boon unimaginable to even his greedy Koch brother friends, allies and confidants. Cain has no experience whatever in foreign policy except that he intends to continue our economic path of huge oil consumption into the future and the consequent consequences for our national security and for the survival of that delicate thin layer of gas surrounding this marvelous little blue marble we inhabit, and call Earth. 
What a bunch of misfits! Oh MY God!
And who happens to be furthest to the right in this photo?
None other than Koch Brother salaried employee
and trusted servant of billionaires
Herman "Imagine There's No Pizza" Cain!
Godfather Pizza stinks, just like any chain. It doesn’t even qualify as mediocre. I’m from New Haven, and the best pies this side of the Mediterranean, and some would even argue that the best even this side of the Adriatic, come from Wooster Square, so I’m an expert on Apizza. Chains generally strive for mediocrity and try not to offer much in the way of flavor. If they offer too much in the way of seasoning and spices then the mass appeal just won’t be there for long. Just ask McDonald’s, Burger King or Pizza Hut. Herman Cain is adding some spice and a bit of comic relief to the absurdity that is this Republithief field. If Herman was a pizza he would never allow himself onto the Godfather menu. Too spicy. Won’t sell in the long run. But then, Herman’s not really running for President. He’s trying to get a national sales tax onto the agenda for the Koch brothers. Don’t be fooled by the existence of a Campaign Manager and Treasurer. One thing’s for sure. Herman Cain is NOT running for President of the United States. The remarkable thing about the state of Republican Party affairs is that a con man like him could actually take the lead in their Presidential polls. Wow.Does anybody feel like going out for some Moo Goo Gai Pan? ;o)
***BREAKING NEWS ADDENDUM: Just as if the Miracle Whipped Pizza Faced Hypocrite of a candidate's self-destructive campaign and life were acting on cue, yesterday a new American Hero, a Working Class Hero who represents all working people, especially corporate workers, and especially women who work under misogynistic men like Unabel Cain, Sharon Bialek has risked the scorn of sickos who view victims as culprits by going public with this criminal taking advantage of his corporate power position by 'groping' her, which is rape in my book. Rape doesn't merely mean forced penetration, and Cain's violence IS definitely criminal and prosecutable. At least three other heroic women have come forward to charge this fool with similar immoral, criminal and vicious conduct. The fool is still trying to conduct a presidential campaign, dragging his family through the mud and isssuing denials continuously despite the ever expanding barrage of charges. Hopefully sex charges as well as charges for his other corruption issues will be forthcoming. Cain is perhaps the most immoral of the Republithieves in the race; which includes a whole bevy of hypocrites: the cheating former Speaker Newt Gingrich who was cheating while impeaching Bill Clinton for cheating; Romney who made millions the old fashioned way, taking advantage of others and says only whatever will possibly get him elected; pivoting Perry who gets high, drinks or just is insane and denies all of it; and that twisted Preetzel of a candidate Bachman who no doubt is the same gay-basher her hubby is and doesn't know what happened on Paul Revere's ride! The link to today's NY Times article detailing Cain's misadventures and Ms. Bialek's heroism is: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/08/us/politics/woman-accuses-cain-of-groping-he-denies-charge.html?_r=1&hp. The first sentence of the article might as well serve as the epitaph for the most ludicrous and offensive front-running political campaign in recent history: "Herman Cain said he would offer a formal defense Tuesday against allegations from a woman who said Mr. Cain made an unwanted and rough physical advance on her 14 years ago when he was the chief of the National Restaurant Association." Just quit Cain, you're making the nation look foolish now. Get out and get out now! Hire some lawyers, you have the right to a defense in court dude. And then you have the obligation to serve your time behind bars. John Lennon once again, this time in tribute to Sharon Bialek, the other women who heroically go public in order to prevent future abuses like sicko Cain's:
For all these reasons and more we continue to unreservedly endorse the re-election of our awesome incumbent President Barack Obama. The hit parade of Obama accomplishments in just 33 months in office:
1) Ending the reign of terror that was Osama Bin Laden.
2) Ending Don't Ask Don't Tell- The official Defense Department policy of legal discrimination against gay and lesbian heroes.
3) Negotiating and passing through the U.S. Senate the START treaty with Russia.
4) Passage of the highly successful $700 billion TARP bill.
5) Passage of the first-step Health Care Reform Act of 2010.
6) Removing 100,000 of our bravest and best from harm's way in Iraq and an end to the Cheney Administration-sponsored US aggression by December of this year.
7) Getting a $20 billion down payment from BP before the spill was even over.
8) Intimidating Tony "Wayward" Hayward into resigning as the immoral head of BP, taking a demotion and hiding out in Putin's Russia to avert prosecution by Attorney General Eric Holder.
9) Naming 2 women in a row to the U.S. Supreme court with brains.
10) Having a brain himself as President, post-George Dubya Bush.
11) Getting a debt ceiling bill passed despite the efforts of the reactionary ‘worst-ever’ U.S. Congress and the most incompetent U.S. House Speaker Tanman Boehner to stymie his every effort.
12) Putting an end to Muammar Qaddafi without the loss of the life of a single American military member.
AND THE WINNING LINK TO DEFEAT THE LIKES OF PRETZEL CANDIDATE BACHMANN, WHICH-WAY-DO-I-TURN CANDIDATE ROMNEY, YET-ANOTHER-STUPID-TEXAS-GOVERNOR LIKE DUBYA BUSH EXCEPT PRO-SECESSION AND RENEWED CIVIL WAR ADVOCATE RICK PERRY OR BILLIONAIRE BILLIARD BALL PSEUDO-CANDIDATE HERMAN CAIN; AND TO RE-ELECT A GREAT GUY WITH REAL FAMILY VALUES IS:
barackobama.com
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