I am a spiritual being having a temporary human experience.
Augie and other Dogs are spiritual beings (of the same sort)
having temporary canine experiences.
Shhh... From his base in Wallingford, Connecticut, Augie the Doggie secretly rules the Universe. In one single day Augie accomplished the following at the ordinarily geriatric age of THIRTEEN years old [when other mortals retire and rest on their laurels, Augie the Awesome Doggie springs to action]: 1) While photographing a shed I was planning to do major repairs upon, Augie succeeded in sneaking into each of the photos without anyone's awareness until we blew them up on the computer.
2) While measuring the shed, I glanced three yards over and saw Augie the Doggie in THAT yard. Augie had succeeded in eluding our backyard security system and ESCAPED! When I walked over to the neighboring yard, Augie the Doggie put up no resistance, merely smiled a sly smile to indicate yet again, that HE WAS, INDEED, IN CHARGE STILL. And as if that was not enough, Augie committed his biggest accomplishment to date:
3) While I was in the basement tending to the feral cats for which I was caring, I heard my ex-domestic partner stomping around hollerin' "Bad Dog! Bad Dog!" and racing about the house; her feet stomping and Augie's going clickety-clack on the hardwood floor in one huge circle around the house, repeating the circuit over and over. After I stopped laughing, I surfaced from the basement and asked my former partner what Augie had accomplished [it was in the days following Thanksgiving], she cried "HE GOT THE TURKEY LEG!" And I spied Augie the Doggie, and sure enough he was looking at me with an entire 5lb roasted turkey leg suspending from his clutched jaw. [I was furtively more proud of Augie Doggie than you could possibly imagine]. Our eyes met, a staring contest ensued, and we were off to the races!
Augie ran, and I ran a close second. Worried about the turkey bones, I tried kicking the offending leg outa his mouth, but to no avail. I knew taking it from him would violate his instincts, so that wasn't an option. I called to my partner,
"GET SOME HOT DOGS, QUICK, AND MICROWAVE 'EM!!!" I then tried putting the heated Frankfurts in Augie's face hoping for a trade, he wasn't about to be conned! I THREW FRESH HOT TUBE STEAKS RIGHT AT THE AUGMEISTER, AND STILL HE DIDN'T RELENT! WHAT A DOG
In the final analysis, Augie scarfed down that whole turkey leg without it touching the floor once, all while being chased, bribed AND having hot dogs thrown directly at him! He proved who was in charge of Wallingford and of Connecticut. He made the front pages of Canine News the next morning and the Canine News Network had live coverage of Augie's Awesome Day, replete with interviews and all.
In a quiet election, the canines of the Universe elected Augie Master of the Universe, and he's been ruling since January 1st, 2010. He is now 15, and has a lifetime term. ♥ :)
If ya happen to have a few bucks in your pocket, Augie's favorite charitable cause and mine is the wonderful Louisiana Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals which has dealt effectively with incredible canine and feline crises as the result of both Hurricane Katrina and the BP Oil Spill. So all it takes is a click on the link below and a credit/debit card to donate:
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