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Wednesday, January 1, 2014

BREAKING NEWS: PHOTOS OF DICK CHENEY’S ALLEGED 'HEART' BEFORE & AFTER TRANSPLANT-unabashed exclusive proves only cold stone lay inside his ribcage!

Actual photograph of DICK Cheney's original heart.

The omniscient, clairvoyant Rolling Stones
sang about a 'Heart of Stone'
49 years ago!

Unabashed Left has acquired medical photographs of failed former Vice President, failed former Defense Secretary, and greedy former Haliburton CEO DICK Cheney’s chest cavity before and after his heart transplant. The medical community and the so-called ‘intelligence’ [are they really intelligent or just bullies?] community have kept the astonishing find inside Cheney’s chest highly classified. 

Until now, that is.

The first photo [above] shows the incredible sight surgeons saw. His heart was as cold and lifeless as stone, and embedded in poor quality soil and pebbles rather than ventricles and what-not! 

They soon discovered that the blood that stagnated in his veins was chock full of shaved ice and so cold it was nearly frozen.

The same sources, who provided the photos and details on condition that we not reveal their identity [hopefully now I won’t have to catch a flight to Hong Kong, hang out for a few days before heading to Moscow and rotting in the airport for a month or two due to my revelations], revealed that as far as federal health officials know only one other similar instance has ever been documented--that of former failed President DICK Nixon. More testing is to be done, but medical experts ARE investigating the possibility that all Republican DICKs have similar coronary surprises in store.

We consulted psychiatric experts who said that this type of cold blooded, stone-hearted cardiovascular system would most certainly impact the brain and the personalities of those affected. Several such experts opined that this would explain why the Republican DICKs get us every time. Among other impacts, they believe it would explain the coldness, coarseness, anger, narcissism and greed of both Cheney and Nixon.


Stymied during the course of this extremely sensitive and delicate surgery, the MDs in the operating room opted to maintain his blood temperature by placing him in ice water, while an orderly searched the hospital’s garden for a replacement heart. This second photo is of Cheney’s chest after the new implant, thus explaining his continuing coldness, anger, narcissism, and greed.

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2 comments:

Donna Hansen said...

So unbelievably funny and ACCURATE !!

Donna Hansen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.