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Sunday, October 3, 2010

Media Matters: Christine O'Donnell, Rick Sanchez, Lady Gaga, Elliot Spitzer, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, Lou Dobbs, Campbell Brown, Larry King, Unabashed Left, Steve Alexander

Larry King, Rick Sanchez, Lou Dobbs, Campbell Brown out, Elliot Spitzer in.  Larry King separates from his young wife and children for two weeks and asks Lady Gaga for a dinner date several times Live On Larry King at least twice in 10 minutes and gets a golden handshake weeks later.  Rick Sanchez is interviewed by a radio comedian(Pete Dominick) about Jon Stewart, less than a month after CNN grants him a prime time hour in addition to the two he already has in the afternoons, and annoyed at free publicity offered by TV comedian Jon Stewart, calls Stewart a bigot and derogates his Jewish heritage.  Sanchez further compounds his troubles by declaring that "everybody that runs CNN is a lot like[the comedian] Stewart."  He further offered the opinion that " a lot of elite Northeast establishment liberals" look at Sanchez as someone "who belongs in the second tier and not the top tier."  Really, Rick?  Top tier?  Rick appeared on Dominick's show as part of his tour to pump his new book "Conventional Idiocy."  No, this is way to easy Rick.  Please. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.  :-D

CNN's brief statement was merciful and may be easily be produced in its entirety for your comedic use, please feel completely free to utilize it as you see fit:

"Rick Sanchez is no longer with the company.  We thank Rick for his years of service and wish him well."

Straight to the point.  Pretty fair and balanced if you ask me(yuk, yuk).

Lou Dobbs, let go for ego.  Mr. Independent makes occasional guest shots on daytime Fixed News and works at a radio station somewhere.  A run for Senate?  Really Lou.

Campbell Brown, Lou's replacement, gone in under a year for being really boring, having no contacts, personality or reason for being on air.  And for having a name that sounds like a soup you wouldn't really want to eat.  Smooth move CNN.

And please.  Anderson Cooper.  OMG.  CNN has certainly sunk a fortune into trying to create a celebrity out of this one, haven't they?  Last I checked the ratings, AC, after CNN has spent millions pumping this guy was third in a three man race to former ESPN sports guy and really funny man Keith Olberman in his repeats at 10pm.  God only knows what the repeats of the 360 circus are doing against the competition at 11pm, but Unabashed Left has learned that he is right behind the Wallingford, CT Community Schedule and coming up fast-- and recently actually beat a rerun of "Storm Stories" on Atlanta rival The Weather Channel.

And Spitzer.  The former Governor and john from New York(customer #...  , now which number was he?) premiers as the second bill to a woman I've never seen before on CNN tomorrow night as Lou and Campbell's replacement at 8pm.  Unabashed Left now has CNN scorecards available to keep track of their Anchor line-up for the low-low price of $500, just send us an email. 

Not sure, but last I checked an Entertainment Tonight anchor was going to be trying to fill Larry "The King of Come On's" slot at 9pm.  The Cable -What- Network is it?  Oh yeah, that's right, the Cable News Network.  That's what its supposed to be, I forgot.(Hehehe).  Thought I was watching Days Of Our Lives for a second instead.

So anyway, getting back to Rick Sanchez for a moment, and why not?  Sanchez, currently(oops, not currently, until Thursday) the only Hispanic anchoring any major news broadcast was certainly an up and comer, wasn't he?  First one hour, then two during the day.  Then an hour in prime time.  Despite a brash personality that was evidently grating to so many despite the two dimensional window between us, the one way nature of the communication and the thousands of miles in between.  Even when he was on camera with meteorologists talking about snow storms and such you could see his own colleagues bristle.  But it was working for him.  No doubt his former pretty side-kick Brooke Baldwin and not so pretty former side-kick Ali Velcher are looking at 7pm, and all the other prime time hours lustily tonight. :)

Rick gave up the whole ball of wax to dis a comedian.  Pumping a book called "Conventional Idiocy."  Was it worth it Rick.

Since minorities are once again out of the prime time lineup on all the major news shows, we recommend a bit of out-of-the-box thinking.  Spitzer was some good out of the box thinking.  MSNBC's decision to open up 10pm and go live then was a bit out of the box for them and wise, indeed given the AC numbers.  Nerdy Lawrence O'Donnell was neither out- of-the-box nor wise, and will be dispensed with quickly.  Perhaps Lawrence could be called AC's last great hope. lol

Anyone with a brain will offer whatever cash it takes to get Eugene Robinson, Washington Post Pulitzer Prize winner, to take 5 days a week in prime time--and look for either CNN or MSNBC to do so in the not too distant future.  And anyone with a brain would package AC(I actually think he's AC-DC) tightly and store permanently on a dark shelf in a basement in the farthest corner and leave him there, feeding him often, but soundproofing the basement first. :p

Unabashed Left is available evenings, 7 nights a week and on weekends.  Keith Olberman lost an hour last week to Lawrence at 10 pm on MSNBC.  The nature of Elliot's scandal bringing him down politically was amusing at times but he's not funny.  Larry King's funny looking but he's gone.  Rachel Maddow is good, but not as funny as me.  The redheaded guy who tries to do comedy on her show sucks.  Chris Matthews:  funny haircut(I think he uses Campbell Brown's soup bowl as a template for that do), that's it.  So hire me.  I'm pretty, smart, funny, no current scandals, and quite available at a bargain price.  And I will consider either Atlanta or Manhattan.  Much more funny is needed in the news networks prime time line ups and I want some hours.  Put 2 plus 2 together please. 

That's another thing.  I'm flexible.  I'll even use whatever set you're using in the time slot now, not even new furniture necessary.  And the logo comes with me--sideways moon--it's great, took the picture myself, no need for a Madison Avenue firm to dream one up.

Oh yeah.  Christine O'Donnell.  LOLOLOLOL!  The Anti-Masturbation, Pro-Meatball, non Hare Krishna, former Witch, Tea Party Republican Senate candidate from Delaware.  Learned her name faster than any pol in U.S. history.  She's the gift to U.S. comedians that just will never end even after this asterisk attempt at the Senate.  I do believe Bill Maher is finally coming around to finding God.  Or, rather, God finding him, because God was not the one who was lost there. 

Having a collection of old tapes of Christine O'Donnell putting her foot in her mouth from the old days(her comments were funnier than his hair--almost) has made his job so easy that he is just brimming with gratitude every night so much that he's nearly busting at the seams.  Who wouldn't.  QUICK OFFER TO CHRISTINE O'DONNELL FOR AN UNABASHED INTERVIEW ANYTIME ANYPLACE FOR ANY LENGTH OF TIME NOW, REPEAT NOW. I WILL TRAVEL ANYWHERE FOR AN INTERVIEW WITH YOU.  I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO TALK TO YOU.  PLEASE EMAIL ME AT  unabashedleft@gmail.com  TODAY, PLEASE!!!    I'll be glad to fork over as many Dunkin' Donuts munchkins and as much coffee as you can handle.  If you want champagne, no problem.  Let's talk, on tape please!

So, back to Rick Sanchez, again, why not?  A bit of advice, Rick.  In the future if a comedian like Jon Stewart or Bill Maher makes fun of you, laugh and enjoy it.  It can only boost your ratings.  That's why Maher's, Stewart's and your name are in the title of this blog.  To Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, Pete Dominick, Jay Leno and David Letterman:  MAKE FUN OF ME PLEASE.  I AM UNABASHED LEFT AND AVAILABLE 7 NIGHTS A WEEK FOR YOUR COMEDIC CONVENIENCE!!!  LOLOLOL

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