Hi everbody! :) It’s me, Lisa again!!! How are you? My uncle Unabashed sez my articles are already the most popular on hiz page except the one he wrote about John Lennon. He sez that’s perty impressive, since whenever a celeberty is involved in the name, he sees a spike in readership. I aksed Uncle Unabashed if that means I’m a celeberty, and he said, just wait Lisa. I’ll give you about 2 weeks, and you’ll be a celeberty, m’dear! And then he did this: ;-) *winked*
I wrote a story called My Gun Story. Uncle Unabashed sez it’s now hiz second most poplar article, and I said you’re welcome! Teehehehehe! Shehehehe! Ha-ha, Uncle Un! :-D Gotcha! Ennyway, I told Uncle Un I’d write him another gun story. The first one was about the time I talked to Reverend Sara about gunz and war and stuff. This one’ll be about talking to Reverend Sara again. Two weeks ago, or so, I talked to Congersman Bunk. You’ll hafta look up that story ifya want to know what I’m talking about in this one! Shehehe. Here goes:
Girls and gunz, boyz and gunz, ennyone and gunz? Yuck!!!
Me: Hi Reverend Sara. I wanna talk again! Can I??
Reverend Sara: Certainly Lisa, I love talking with you. I don’t have any meetings for at least 15 minutes, so my time is all yours. What do you want to talk about?
Me: I’m mad!!!
Reverend Sara: Mad? Why are you angry?
Me: I’m mad about gunz!!!
Reverend Sara: I see. You’re still upset about guns and war?
Me: OF COURSE I’m STILL mad! That’s silly, Reverend Sara. Gunz and war aren’t my fault, but I’m stuck with ‘em. They’re more your fault than mine, cuz you’ve been around the world longer than me!!! I went to talk to Congersman Bunk, and he said I didn’t understand because I’m too young and don’t know how complicated it is to ‘keep the peace.’ I told him that sending in soldiers and bombs and stuff sure was a strange way to make peace! Yessiree, he was confused when I left! But that’s not all I’m mad about. When we talked about gunz and Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Reverend Sara, you said you were gonna start sermi, sermoni.. sermonizing about ending war and stuff. You said you’d talk about Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and how we dropped big bombs and killed hundreds of thousands of women, kidz, men, doggies, kitties and birds and squirrels and picked cities to drop ‘em on instead of army camps.
Victims of Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Reverend Sara: Did you hear my sermon that Sunday? I spoke about war, and peace. I spoke of inner peace and how if we can achieve inner peace in our lives and treat one another more humanely day-to-day then the world will be a better place.
Me: You talked just like Congersman Bunk!!! You didn’t say ennything like you said to me. You said to me you don’t like handguns and want them outlawed. Ya didn’t say that in your pulpit, didja Reverend Sara?? You didn’t say ennything about how we picked innocent people without gunz to kill with nuclear bombs in Japan in your preachin’ like you said you would. And you said you’d start using Jesus’ name, and use the word Love more, and talk about Christ a whole lot more in services and when you’re just hanging around the church. You HAVE NOT Reverend Sara! Last time you said you can only tell the conger… con… congro.. the congregation what they can hear. I think you only tell the congregation what you have the courage to tell them and then keep quiet about important stuff that you, me and Jesus really believe in and that we all three of us think are really important. Silence is bad!
Reverend Sara: You are angry, aren’t you Lisa.
Me: Yes I AM! And Daddy and Mommy said it’s ok to be mad. It’s not bad to be mad, its whatcha do with it Daddy said. He said that President Aberham Linkun got mad and stopped slavery by doing the Emancerpashun Proclumashun! He said that Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. got mad and gave a big speech about “Having a Dream” and freed even more people. Jesus got mad and went to His church and told the people in charge that they were ‘hypocrites’—Mommy looked that word up for me when we read it in the Bible so I know how to spell that one real gudd-- and Jesus also gave a big sermon called the Sermon on the Mount cuz He wuz mad about some stuff. I’m saying that if you believe something a lot, and think it’s important, and you’re a Christian, and a preacher, and keep silent, then maybe Jesus’ word is sumthin’ ya might wanna think about, Reverend Sara!
Reverend Sara: Now Lisa, please be polite, or I might have to tell your parents that you are having some difficulties.
Me: I don’t like gunz and neither do you! I don’t like war and neither do you! I Love you and everbody and you say you do too! I think God is Unconditional Love and you do too! I love Jesus and think He saved me and saves me every day. I think He’s the Christ, the Messiah! I say it all the time at coffee hour, at choir, in Sunday school and with my friendz now at school and with my family at home! I say Love all the time. I tell people I love ‘em! You do NOT, Reverend Sara and you promised! That’s why Jesus used that “h” word with those reverends in the synagogue I think ifya ask me!!!
Reverend Sara: Lisa… I don’t know really what to say…
Daffy Muammar Gadafi
Daffy Duck and Muammar Gadafi Are Exactly Alike!
Me: I’m not done Reverend Sara! I know we’re shooting missiles and stuff in a place called Libya now. I know about that stupid guy who calls himself a Colonel and yet haz been in charge of his country for a zillion years now. Muamar Quadafi. Just like Daffy Duck ifya ask me! He’s Daffy alrighty! He’s been a pain in the neck to everybody for years especially hiz own people, right? But guess what, our government hasn’t been too good all the time either and it’s just not our job to decide who’s a good dictator and who isn’t. Like our ‘friends’ such as Hamid Karzai, Nguyen Van Thieu, Hosni Mubarak, Josef Stalin, etc. etc. etc. And we’ve fought all OUR wars except the one we fought against ourselves, the Civil War, and the Revolutionary War, on other continents! We have two oceans between us an everbody else except for Mexico and Canada and we don’t fight them! Ever since we dropped nuclear bombs on civilians and won the first nuclear war, we been pointing missiles at everybody else and calling ourselves a ‘superpower!’ Preach that on Sunday pleeeeeeze Reverend Sara! I know you agree! And look at the guyz who been doing it! Truman dropped those bombs. Eisenhower was a Genral! Kennedy got killed! Johnson started a war in Asia and couldn’t get reelected! Nixon picked Agnew and both were crooks and resigned! Jimmy Who couldn’t get reelected! Ronald Ray-Gun slept all the time, and everbody knew we were better off he did! Bill Clinton cheated on Hillary with an intern as young as his daughter! And Dubya??? And not one woman involved YET! EXCUUUSE ME!!! Let’s try puttin’ a Mommy in charge and see what happenz!
A Stupid Mark 6 Nuclear BOMB! OMG! Stupid Pentagon!!!
Reverend Sara: Lisa, you are a verrrry smart girl. How do you figure all this out?
Me: Itz not hard Reverend Sara. I love you. I love you soooo much I can’t say. Do you agree with what I’m saying?
Reverend Sara: Yes, I agree with everything you’re saying.
The President, Barack Obama, the coolest President of all time, and his really pretty daughters having fun!
Me: Then preach about it and do it a lot!!! Please, everyone could DIE! OMG! Please promise again, but do it this time??? I know President Obama thinks missiles and bombs by NATO and us in Libya is good and will help the average Libyan person, but maybe we should be asking about it. Even if we support the President, and I LOVE President Obama, he’s doing so much gudd it’s AMAZING!!! He passed Health Care; he made BP give us $20 billion right away for that bad oil spill; he got Congress (even Congersman Bunk voted for it) to pass $700 billion for me; he got the Nobel Peace Prize; he named Hillary Secretary of State; he picked Joe Biden; he got the Russians to agree to a START treaty then got Congress to ratify it; he even ended discriminashun against people in the military just because they like people who are their own sex! Wow. But I think bombing in Libya is wrong, and I have a right to disagree with a great President, even! I read a bumper sticker. It said: “Why do we kill people to show people that killing people is wrong?”
I know Congersman Bunk thinks I’m young and think simple. In Sunday school a little while ago, we made bracelets. They were cool! Ms. Santiago helped and it was her idea! We put little stones on the bracelets that had letters on ‘em. The letters spelled out “WWJD.” Do you know what WWJD stands for, Reverend Sara??? Do ya?
Reverend Sara: Yes I do. It means “What would Jesus do?”
Jesus and a girl maybe a little younger than me! He's the coolest of all!
Me: Ding, ding. Ding, ding! You win the grand prize Reverend Sara, you’re correctamundo! So, I was thinking about Libya, and Daffy Quadafi, President Obama and our missiles. And I was thinking about how Daffy IS messing up his own people. And I thought “what if President Obama was Jesus?” WWJD? What would Jesus do? Would He send aircraft carriers, scramble the Pentagon civilians and brass, launch missiles, rally NATO countries, try to recruit a few non-NATO countries to make it seem like everybody likes our new international war, and kill people to show people that killing people is wrong? Or would He do somethin’ differ’nt. I want you to preach about that this Sunday, Reverend Sara! What do you say? What do YOU think? Do you agree?
Reverend Sara: Sara, you are the smartest little girl I’ve ever known. I agree 100% with everything you said. Including everything you said about me. I AM sooooo sorry for making those promises about preaching about guns and war more often, about talking about Love and Unconditional Love in and out of church, and about saying Jesus’ precious name and proclaiming Him as my personal Lord and Savior as the one true Christ, the Messiah all the time every day—and then just not doing it! I’m sorry, Lisa! Regardless of what my family, my friends and my congregation may think. It IS my job! Silence most DEFINITELY is NOT my job! You are so right. I love you, too Lisa. More than anyone except Jesus knows.
Me: Me 2!
Me: And Reverend Sara?
Reverend Sara: Yes, Lisa?
Me: I accept your apology. You are forgiven! Hallelujia! The Lord is Risen, indeed. Hosanna in the Highest! Amen, Reverend Sara! Will you pray sumthin’ with me Reverend Sara?
Reverend Sara: Of course sweetheart. Anything you want to pray, I trust you and your prayers.
Me, Reverend Sara and Readers Who Want To: Yippee! OK! Here goes. And if you’re readin’ you can pray along too! Ifya don’t want to that’s ok, too. No pressure. It’s my choice. You can do whatever ya want! I’ll love you no matter what! It’s your choice!
I have oodles of Joy! And I love puppies and life. And I don't want to die. Let's end gunz and war!
“I accept Jesus into my heart at this very moment as my personal Lord and my Savior. He is the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of God, crucified, died for my sins and for my denial, and resurrected. My sins are forgiven through Him and I dedicate my life to His service. Hallelujia indeed! Hosannas galore!! In Jesus’ precious name we pray. AMEN AND YIPPEE!!!!!”
And me and Reverend Sara we hugged, and hugged, and hugged.
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