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Thursday, June 2, 2011


The Original Oscar Mayer Wiener Commercial From 1965

Mickey Mouse Was Inspired To Sing About Wieners As Well!

Sorry Congressman. Anthony Weiner Made To Look Like A Hot Dog
He Really Is A Great Congressman, Let's Just Get It Together Mr. Weiner!

I was online on and ran into an acquaintance
we'll call Jane Doe from West Virginia, and her daughter, 'Janetta Johnson' and cousin
'Joan Smith' joined in the thread. I'd never met the daughter or cousin before
and really hardly know Jane at all. I broke the news about
Congressman Anthony Weiner's recent misfortune
in having a photo of his lap Tweeted
involuntarily to a young woman.
Mr. Weiner has handled the PR aspects
poorly to say the least,
and we're ordinarily
big Weiner fans
even though

Jane Doe: I had a dream that a gremlin was living in my closet and I had to keep the light on because he was afraid of the what this means?

Steve Alexander: My guess is that your gremlin is actually symbolic of a

Jane Doe: Symbolic of??

Steve Alexander ‎@Jane Doe: My guess is that your gremlin is actually symbolic of a "skeleton in your closet." And because your skeleton prefers light and not dark, you have no secrets to hide and are a wonderful person. ♥ :)

Steve Alexander: Missent, sorry. Lol

Steve Alexander And you are kind enuff to care even about a gremlin living in your closet by keeping the light on for him. :)

Joan Smith: no she is NOT let her fool ya !!!! hahahah

Steve Alexander: ‎@Joan: Lol! :D

Joan: hehehe...

Joan ‎:-).....but I wuuuuuv u cuz !!!!!

Steve Alexander: shehehehehahahahalolOLOLOL!

Steve Alexander: ‎;oD

Joan: she will get me now..LOL

Joan: but thats ok..cause I aint SKEERT...

I'm pretty 'skeert' of missiles, they're kinda like phallic symbols for the uniformed brass, weiners, really.

Steve Alexander:  On the other hand it could mean the gremlin is fungus-based, and the light in her closet is a grow light and she's cultivating gremlins for the rest of us. Beware of Jane's Gremlins!

Joan: that's more like the truth..!!! LOL

Steve Alexander:  I 'like' u Joan Smith and I 'like' the laugh on your profile pic. U have a friend request coming. Lol!

Joan: aww..thank ya..

Steve Alexander:   Lol dudette!

Steve Alexander:   What ever happened to Jane, this is her dream we're interpreting, right???

Steve Alexander:   Friend request sent, Joan. :)

Joan: accepted....ahh she sees shiny things and just wanders off on us all the time..hahhaha

Jane apparently took a break to look at something shiny like this penny with real Republican Abe on it.

Steve Alexander:   Shiny things. Are they really there, or does she just 'see' them?

Joan: oh shoot..she just "sees" em !!

Steve Alexander:   ‎Joan: u have a wall post.

Joan: kk

Steve Alexander:   Wait till she gets bored with this shiny object and comes here to see this thread. lol

Jane: lol you guys are silly

Joan: oops

Joan: hahahaha

Steve Alexander: And here is the Gremlin manufacturer

Jane dreamt that she kept the lights on for a Gremlin in her closet.
Did she mean an American Motors Gremlin
or a mythical Monster???

Joan: it was him... not me..hehehe

Jane: thats funny steve lol

Joan: didnt do nuffin !!!!

Jane: Joan, im gonna get you!!!

Joan: oooohhhhh

Steve Alexander: Joan won't tell me her dream, Jane, make her do it, please. I need to interpret another one.

Joan: well ya know where I live......

Joan: you dont wanna do me !!!!

Joan: I wont even do mine !!

Jane: come on Joan, I was brave enough to tell mine

Joan: nuh huh !!!! nope

Jane: let him hear your I will be known as the gremlin manufacturer lol

Joan: nope nope not happening..hahhaaha

You should really take the time to click on this photo, this is a good looking wiener, it'll really
plump up if you click on it!
They have many names including, but not limited to:
Hot dogs, Tube steaks, Frankfurters and more!

Jane: steve make her!!! lol

Joan: lol

Jane: give us a hint cuz

Joan: aint happening...give it up cuz....

Jane: grrrrrrr

Jane: steve just left us.....I guess he gave up lol

Joan: lol

Joan: figures...

Jane: oh well

Joan: yup.....hahahaha

Steve Alexander No, I was busy posting on Joan's wall!

Joan: uh oh !!! hahaha

Steve Alexander I didn't leave at all. I identified meself to my new friend. :-)

Joan: ‎:-) and that wud be mememememem

Jane: lol ok steve

Steve Alexander:  OK Joan. U obviously hava dream. WHAT IZIT!!!??????

Joan: aint saying..not happenng..nope..nadda..give it up ..HAHAHAH

Joan: wait..I do !!!!!

Steve Alexander:  I'll tellya mine if you tell me yours.

Steve Alexander:  I can't freakin' wait.

Steve Alexander:   its about time.

Steve Alexander:  phew.

Steve Alexander:  patience, steve, patience.

Joan: I am dreaming about getting my ice maker unfrozen so it will go back to giving me that incredible cold stuff we commonly refer to and NEED in this heat called ICE !!!!!

Joan: LMAO

Steve Alexander:   hmmm..... let me see...

The Hot Dog Song by The Arrogant Worms

Steve Alexander It means someone isn't as frigid as she wants to be.

Joan: means my dang fridge stopped spewing forth ice...!!!!

Jane: lol thats funny

Jane: glad you guys are having fun outta my dream lo

Steve Alexander:  Heres mine: I dream of world peace, harmony and a world of joy.

Steve Alexander: Interpretation: I fantasize about being Sarah Palin as a beauty queen contestant.

Joan: but that is a non sleeping dream steve.


Janetta Johnson: lol mom you have the funniest dreams

Steve Alexander:  It sure as heck is, cuz I ain't no beauty queen.

Joan: she is a strange one Janetta...

Janetta: did u tell joan bout the one humberto had where he was standing on top of a pyramid and a bunch of naked girls was throwing pickles at him hahahaha

Joan: always has been....hahahah

Jane: ya I know I sometimes you could make movies outta my dreams

Janetta: haha u dont have to tell me i already know haha

Joan: omg....lmao !!!

Jane: no I didnt tell her that one.....but it was funny as hell lol

Joan: now I cud shred that one to pieces !!!

Steve Alexander Humberto's dream... hmmmm....

Jane: he woke up craving pickles lol

Janetta: omg haha

Steve Alexander:   If it wasn't a dream can I get Humberto's phone number, I could use his social skills

Joan: roflmao

Steve Alexander: But if a dream, he's obviously got great aspirations.

Janetta: lol, i would be craving pickles if a bunch of naked men were throwing them at me in my dream hahahahaha

Joan:  you guys are crazy

Joan: LMAO Janetta !!!!!

Jane: hahaaa janetta
57 minutes ago · LikeUnlike.


Janetta: haha wouldnt u

Janetta: lol oops

Jane: I am not sure about his great aspirations steve lol

Steve Alexander:   Janetta, now u 2 have earned a friend request. LMAO! what a fam! omg!

Janetta: haha arent we the greatest

Jane: ya the pickles have to be symbolic for something.

Joan: oh clue clue !!!

Janetta: hmmm wonder wat that would be haha

Steve Alexander:   please all of you check out the website and the article i just posted on Jane's wall.

Joan: lemme think....

Joan: hmmm

Joan: maybe he is secretly wanting a tranny hahahaha

Janetta: girls throwing pickles hahahaha

Congressman Weiner has no endorsement contract with either Hummels or Oscar Mayer to our knowlege.

Steve Alexander:  the pickles are symbolic of congressman anthony weiner and the girls are republicans.

Janetta: haha

Jane: oh my goodness steve

Jane: lol I will be sure to tell him lol

Jane: ya steve we are family....Janetta is my daughter and Joan is out cuz

Joan: out cuz..???

Jane:  you should see us together

Joan: wth is an out cuz

Jane: sorry I mean OUR cuz hit the wrong button

Janetta: our* lol

Steve Alexander:   Have you heard about Weinergate? Congressman Anthony Weiner had a lap shot tweeted in his name. I renamed the phenomenon Tweety 'Bird' Gate just this morning.

Jane: lol

Steve Alexander:   Wrong button? That's what Anthony Weiner is claiming.

Jane: steve I think you are overly intelligent for this family lol

Joan: well Blondie...YOU can speak for YOURSELF there gal...LOL

Jane: who the hell is Anthony Weiner lol

Jane: nevermind I don't wanna know lol

‎Steve Alexander: If you think I'm over intelligent, you're family is delusional.

Jessica Dodson:   i was wondering the same thing haha

Joan: I rest my case.....:(

Joan: Steve...we already know that !!!!!

Joan: geez tell us something new !!!!!

Jane: We just translate out intelligence in other ways lol

Janetta: lol like thru dreams lol lol

Joan: there ya go Jane !!!

Steve Alexander:   Look up on the thread: Its a true news story this week, a congressman named Weiner had a compromising photo of his ____ tweeted in his name and he's not saying if it's his _____ ornot.

Steve Alexander:   Too rich for us comic writers.

Janetta: o gosh

Jane: lol I will check it out

Jane:  gotta see that weiner lol

Janetta: jeeze mom

Steve Alexander:   Ill link a legit news story on it to ya. [I forwarded the NY Times account of the Weiner wiener mess at this point]

Jane: gotta see if it meets my expectations lol

Joan: oh lordie Jane...dont make me come over there...

Steve Alexander: OK, the links are on your walls. :)

Steve Alexander:  The Weiner Links that is! LOL

Jane: the Andrew weiner link lol

Steve Alexander:  later. had fun.

Joan:  OMG winer head is on Cnn right now ..hahahahahaha

Joan: that is NOT my weiner !!!!!

Jane: hahaaaa I seen the weiner head lol

Joan: another version of the Maury show....LOL



Joan: yeah they just showed it where he denied it was HIS weiner..but he dont know if its really HIS weiner..!!!!!

Joan: oh geez what is this place coming to...??????lmao !!!!

Joan: nice talking to ya Steve....!!! have a good day !!!

Jane: this conversation went from gremlins to weiners lol

Joan: wow...that is somewhat SCARY.....

Joan: Steve...
40 minutes ago · LikeUnlike.

Jane: it just goes to show what us americans are capable of and where our minds go lol

Joan: wud it be tacty to get me an autograpgh from Paula....luv me some Poundstone !!!!

Joan: tacky***

Jane: lol ok Im gonna go this time for real and do some homework

Joan: thats really scary Jane..hahhahahahahaha

Jane: love ya cuz and nice chatting with you steve

Joan: luv ya back kiddo....♥

Steve Alexander Just reporting the facts forya ma'ams. Remember its' not Weinergate, its Tweety 'Bird' Gate and ya heard that here first from Unabashed Left and my website is

Joan: I mean come on...

Steve Alexander:   Tacky, maybe, will I get one forya, sure, next time I see her. I'm interviewing her by phone but plan to see her in NJ on the 24th. Sure.

Joan: Weinergate MUST be the greatest thing in the news right now...

Joan: oooh cool...I thank ya very much..:)

Steve Alexander:   And that sure was a tacky plug for my page.

Joan: hey worked !!! LOL

Steve Alexander:   Weiner is helping the Dems. Mitt Romney just announced his candidacy for the Presidency of the United States of America, and the Producers at CNN are covering Anthony's wiener. LOL

Joan: LOL

Steve Alexander:  Mitt announced less than a half hour ago and CNN has wall-to-wall coverage of the Oscar Meyer Congressman.

Joan: hey...ya GOTTA love America !!!!!

Steve Alexander:  At least Weiners are symbolic of safe-sex. Most of them wear protection.

Steve Alexander I don't like skinless Hummels.

Joan: lmao !!!!!

Joan: ok all...peace out !!!!

Steve Alexander:   u guys are awesome, and this thread may be published today. sorry. I'll keep you all anonymous. :D

Steve Alexander:   hafta doit. it's hysterical. :D

Steve Alexander:   ‎;o)


Jane: Thank ya steve, chat with ya later

Joan: I have been youtubed new..!!! and girks...dont even !!!!

Steve Alexander:   I'll sendya a copy of the final product. ;o)

Steve Alexander:   girks? gherkins? pickles? Earl? Hot Dogs? Anthony? Weiners? Ths summary of Jane Doe's dream thread. In the 'NUT'shell. :o)

Joan: girks....= girls+dorks=girks....

Write a comment...

My only comment is thanks to the good sports in West Virginia who played Weinergate with me today and gave me the chance to laugh harder on a story than I ever have before. The end. This FB thread actually occurred and is reproduced verbatim (minus a coupla family housekeeping comments) and happened immediately following Mitt Romney's big Presidential announcement! OMG! What a story! :) Peace everbody! And in case you're wondering, Lisa's doing fine! <3 

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