Thursday, February 23, 2012


Carole King & Friends
You've Got A Friend

Hi everbody, it’s me again, Lisa! I had to start going to see a nice lady today, she’s my counselor. Her name is Linda, she’s really pretty and she’s a Social Worker too! She’s not just pretty, she’s real nice. I went to see her today for the first time. This here is what we talked about:
Linda: Hi Lisa, how are you doing today. I know this has to be hard for you.
Me: Yeah, it IS hard. But Mommy, Daddy and Uncle UL say that talking to you about it could help. I think I understand that. In fact I’m sure it will help me, and maybe it will help Laura, too. [I sorta got choked up and began to cry a little bit].
Linda: [She gave me a box of Kleenex, which was real nice of her, but sorta made me cry a little bit more-lol]. Well, I’ve talked with your Mom and Dad, but why don’t you tell me in your own words why you think you’re here? What is the problem that brings you here today, Lisa dear?
Me: Ok. It’s cuz I love my friend Laura soooo much. She’s my best friend. She’s been my neighbor since second grade, and we’ve always been in the same class and we always play together, have sleepovers and talk on the phone, text all the time and just have all kinds of fun! Now she has a tumor. It’s in her brain. Its cancer and she’s gonna die real soon. She’s gonna DIE! Laura’s gonna DIE! OH MY GOD! [And now I started to cry real bad].
Linda: [Linda got up from her desk and came around to my chair and gave me a big hug for about 5 whole minutes—that felt real good, and I cried and cried]. There, there, Lisa. Go ahead and cry, thank you so much for sharing that with me. I’m so glad that you trust me enough to tell me that and to cry with me. [I could see that Linda had tears too and she cried some too, not like me, but she cried too! That was so nice. Once we were both calm again, we talked again]. You said you’re here because you love Laura. Can you tell me what you mean by that?
Me: Ya mean why I love Laura?
Linda: If that’s what you want to tell me.
Me: Yeah, I wanna tell you that and I wanna tell you HOW I love Laura. OK, Linda?
Linda: Sure, Lisa, that sounds great.
Me: I like you. I like you a lot already, Linda. You’re so nice and so pretty. Thank you ALREADY! [And I smiled a big smile and so did Linda].
Linda: Thanks honey, you’re really nice and really pretty, too sweetheart. And I really like you a lot already too! That’s really good. You’re a good girl and you’ll do well talking with me, I can tell. [We both smiled real big smiles again].
Me: Ok, first let me tell you how I love Laura. I love Laura different than I love Mommy and Daddy. I love Mommy and Daddy like everything, but I love them as the people who gave me my life. They are both real good people too and teach me how to do the right things. They have fun with me and play with me and stuff, and they take me on vacations and they gave me my new doggie and I love all that. But I love them each different than each other too, it’s not what they do it’s who they are. Daddy is a lot different than Mommy, but I love them both just as much but just different. Does that make sense?
How sad when a young one dies. :'(
Linda: Absolutely!
Me: GOOD! Ok. I love everbody. Uncle UL taught me that. I learned it from Sunday school too, and from my Reverend Sara too. This is how I love everbody. God made everbody. And even if ya don’t believe in God, and lots ‘o nice people don’t, everbody deserves to be loved no matter what. Uncle UL luvs the words UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I do too. We believe that we love everbody no matter what they say or do, just cuz they’re people. There’s reasons for why people do what they do, but really mostly that’s none of my business. I don’t hafta love WHAT people say or do, but if I LOVE the person no matter what, then I won’t feel so bad about them. And also, I might be better able to help ‘em if I can. AND, sometimes I might hafta judge what somebody does—like if it’s a good thing or a bad thing they did—but I don’t hafta judge the person AT ALL! Phew! That’s a big relief. And I happen to be a Christian, and my religion says that God is the judge of folks, and that everbody gets to repent or make up for what they did. Am I still making sense, Linda?
Linda: WOW, honey, ARE you making sense! You are an amazing young woman, Lisa.
Me: Ok, good. Everbody does bad things sometimes and what’s real bad to me might not be real bad to you. Guess what?
Linda: What?
Laura 'n me are Christians, So's Reverend Sara.
:) <3
Me: I’m a thief. Yup. I’m a thief. I’ve stolen a few times. I remember taking a quarter off the dining room table once without telling Mommy or Daddy. I didn’t get caught, but I would tell them now if I thought of it, and I should repay the quarter, too. I like pens a lot, and lots of times I keep ‘em when I borrow ‘em at school. I don’t even think about it, I just do it. And they’re usually the nicest pens. Uncle UL laughs and calls me a ‘pen klepto.’ He sez a kleptomaniac steals without thinking. That’ Lisa and pens alrighty! In Jesus’ time stealing was considered a lot worse crime than it is now. I’d get in real trouble if I lived in Bethlehem and stole somebody’s pen alrighty! That’s fer sure! So, am I a thief, Linda?
Linda: Well, I guess by a strict definition…. I suppose somebody…
Me: Come on Linda. [I kinda chuckled] Am I a thief?
Linda: Ok, you’re a thief, Lisa Left.
Me: Am I a bad person?
Linda: OH NO, DEFINITELY NOT A BAD PERSON. You, my dear, are obviously a thoughtful and sweet kid!
Me: There, ya just judged my actions but didn’t judge me!
Linda: Holy Cow, my dear, you are something else!
Me: So, there’s somewheres around 6 billion folks on earth right now Uncle UL sez. He’s full ‘o all kinds of weird statistics. He knows things like the number of workers in places like Tibet and stuff. He’s kinda weird like that. And I luv ‘em all UNCONDITIONALLY. No matter what they do. Cuz we all have a good person somewheres inside. In some it’s real deep for some reasons, in others not so deep. But we all deserve that kinda love. So I love you Linda.
Lots 'o people are atheists and agnotics.
They're cool, too!
Linda: Awwwwww. [She gave me a big, big smile]. I LOVE you too, Lisa. [And she came around the desk again and gave me a totally different happy kinda hug this time].
Me: But Mommy and Daddy are different. I luv them cuz of knowing them and cuz we have a relationship with each other. We get along real good, and treat each other in ways that make us feel a special feeling like you’d be willing to do anything for ‘em just to make sure they’re ok. It’s the same with my Uncle UL. I luv him differently. He doesn’t live with me, I don’t see him every day, but we talk on the phone and text almost every day, and he comes over all the time. He’s not just my uncle, he’s a really good friend, too, and he has good values. He teaches me cool things like esplainin’ Unconditional Love and stuff like that. Plus he gets really silly a lot and we just giggle, and giggle and giggle sometimes. He’s a real nerd. And he needs the Hair Club For Men real bad, too. We laugh about stuff like that. He calls me Socrates or Plato cuz I like to talk philosophically all the time and stuff and we laugh like heck! Am I still makin’ sense toya, Linda?
Laura 'n me aren't Jewish either, but we luv Jewish people too!
Linda: You’re teaching me some brand new stuff Plato!
Me: Teehehehe! Then there’s you. I hardly know you, but I know I love you unconditionally cuz you’re a people, and a pretty one at that [and I winked at her-lol].  But I also know that you chose to be a Social Worker and to help people for a living and I like that. I know you cried with me already, and hugged me twice, and that you are real nice to talk to. So you’re beginning to earn love too, besides the unconditional kind.  The people who earn love in addition, those people are friends. Family members don’t automatically get that earned love. Uncle UL definitely has and so have Mommy and Daddy. Does that make sense?
Linda: Indeedy it does. Boy do I have a few klunkers in my family, I think we all do. Lol.
Me: LOLOL! YUP, ya sure got that one right, Linda! So now, even though you’re my counselor, you’re already fitting into that friend category too. I have friends from school and other places too, like soccer and stuff, not lots, but a few. I don’t usually have LOTS of friends, I’m not really a social butterfly. But my friends are the ones I talk to outside of school and soccer and stuff, who I hang out with, go shopping with or go out to the movies with or sumthin. My friends and me, we talk about personal stuff, about our feelings and stuff and trust each other that we won’t tell just everbody everything we say to each other. And we usually have fun together which is why we hang out. We laugh a lot. I like to laugh. These are people who have my Unconditional Love, and have earned it, too. If I’m in trouble, or they are, we know we can count on each other. Make sense?
Linda: You’re still on a roll Socrates.
Me: [Big smile]. Then there’s Sharon. She’s one of my friends, but she’s real cute, and I kinda have a crush on her. We are kinda thinking about being more than friends, if you know what I mean, but that’s just between you and me, promise?
Laura 'n me aren't Muslim either, but I think
their symbol and their religion is way cool, too.
The more differences there are the funner it could be
ifya just think of it that way!
So sez Plato.
Linda: Absolutely. Everything you say here stays here.
Me: Good. Anyway, Sharon’s real cute and I love her differently, kind of romantic like. I’m just beginning to understand romantic love from first-hand experience. It’s a lot different now than when I was a LITTLE kid. When Sharon and I hold hands or stuff, I get all goose bumply. Lol. So that’s different too. She’s a friend, she’s earned my love, but there’s definitely something different. It’s like what Mommy and Daddy feel toward each other I guess.
Linda: Ok.
Me: But now here comes the hard part. Give me a minute.
Linda: Take your time honey.
Me: Ok, I’m ready. When I moved in to the house we lived in when I was 7, I was all alone and had no friends at ALL in the whole town and in the whole school. It was summer, and I was scared that when I went to school nobody’d know me and stuff. I’d play outside in the yard and see Laura a couple of houses down playing, too, usually with her older brothers. At first I was way too shy to say anything to any kid around there. But Laura came over after about a week, and told me her name and asked mine. We talked, and she asked if I could come over. I went inside and asked Mommy, she came out and talked to Laura’s Mommy, and I went over and we played outside. Laura’s parents were real nice and asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. I’ll never forget it. Mommy said I could! I was so excited to have a real friend. We played in her bedroom before dinner, and we talked. I told her that I was kinda scared about moving into the new town, and it was real easy talkin’ to her, just like you’re real easy to talk to, Linda.
Linda: Awwww. Thank you so much Lisa, you’re something.
Me: Anyways, we hung out all summer, and she’d come over for dinner, and I’d go over there for dinner, and they’d [Laura and her brothers] come over for our picnics and parties and I’d go to theirs. We had a couple of sleepovers and had lots of fun together. We talked about everything. I think I started developing my Plato style with Laura all the way back then, cuz she was a talker with me too! Not with other people so much, she’s mostly shy with most people but not with ME! [I smiled a BIG smile]. So second and third grade were a breeze compared to what they would have been without my best friend on earth, LAURA! Uncle UL talks about friends like this. He sez that friends are those who earn love beyond Unconditional Love. The set a standard of friendship, either they have values or qualities that you like and that make you get along real good. Those are your friends. Then, Uncle UL sez, there are those who raise the bar of friendship SOOOO HIGH that you could call them “Pole Vaulting Friends.” These people, they are special gifts. These are your BEST friends. Better’n family in some ways. Laura and I know so many things about each other it’s amazing. She knows lots of things about me that Mommy and Daddy don’t and never will, probably. Laura pole vaults a hunnerd feet HIGH! She’s the best friend anyone could ever have! I LOVE her so much! Wait… hang on….
Linda: Take your time honey, you’re doing great.
Me: Ok, I’m ready again. In the summer between third and fourth grade, Laura came to me real serious. She said she had something to tell me. She had to move! Her family was moving out of town! OMG! She was so upset! I was so upset! We both cried our eyes out. We would miss each other bad and she was real scared, cuz like I said she’s real shy and was scared about moving to a whole new town and school like I was in second grade. Oh my God. The ‘for sale’ sign went up in front of their house and within 2 weeks Laura and the whole Meyers family was gone. We cried and cried the whole two weeks, but we also talked about the tons of good times, too. Mr. Meyers had been transferred in his big important job, and that was it. Until two weeks later. HE GOT TRANSFERRED RIGHT BACK and they hadn’t even sold the house yet, and so they just came right on back. I remember seeing Laura, she saw me outside and came running at me and gave me this huge bear hug! I asked her if they forgot sumthin or sumthin? She said no it was for good. She was BACK! It was like the best feeling we both ever had! Oh MY God! It was wonderful. Since then we’ve just gotten even closer every single day. There isn’t a day that’s gone by since then that we haven’t talked. I remember I had to have my appendix taken out and was in the hospital, and she came every day! She called all the time when I was in there, otherwise I’d have been bored outa my mind!
Linda: What a good friend she is. A pole vaulter?
How I think of Laura
Me: 100% ABSOLUTELY! Then I remember when my Grampa got sick, real sick. He came to stay with us. He was gonna die, and was getting home hospice treatment at our house. It was so sad. I loved Grampa the best outa all my grandparents. Laura would come every day, and talk to me AND to Grampa. She was so kind, she always made Grampa smile. She even asked if she could stay over at the very end, and Mommy and Daddy said yes. Mommy, Daddy, me and Laura were there when Grampa died. Grampa loved Laura, too. She was there the whole time during the wake and funeral and stuff. Wow, she was so good for me and my whole family. [I smiled a kinda crooked smile].
Linda: [A couple of tears rolled down her cheeks]. That’s a beautiful story, Lisa. She certainly is an amazing girl and so are you. What a wonderful friendship you have.
Me: Yeah. And don’t get me wrong, I’m really grateful for her. But you asked me why I’m here, it’s cuz I love Laura so much. And ya asked me what I meant by “I love Laura.” So there’s just the beginning of the ‘how’ I love Laura, and the why I love Laura. I love Laura like an Olympic gold medal pole vaulting best friend, and I love her because of her soul, we share a lot of the same one, I think, really. Yaknow, I think there’s romance in every friendship, too. Not, you know, like the Valentine’s day kind Mommy and Daddy have or like I’m thinking I maybe have like with Sharon, but a romantic story nevertheless. It’s a love story for sure when you have a real good best friend like Laura.
Linda: I can see that.
Me: And I’m so scared for her. I’m afraid of how she’s gonna feel. I’m worried sick that she’s gonna be in bad pain, REAL bad pain. But I sure am lucky and so is she. Like I said before, lots of real good folks don’t believe in God or nuthin’ but I do, and so does Laura. We pray a lot. We’ve already been doing that for about a year now. She knows Reverend Sara, too and loves her, too. All of us know that she’s gonna get to have a passage into a new kind of life that is wonderful beyond our imagination. She’s gonna pass into a new life, just like she did when she was born from her Mommy’s womb. But just like then, from the comfort of the placenta, it’s impossible to understand what’s on the other side of that canal. But what we, as Christians believe, and Laura’s faith is firm, is that what’s waiting for her on the other side is awesome indeed. And on this side, will be left a whole bunch of us with broken hearts, but I know that when I pass, I’m gonna get to see Laura and Grampa again. She’s gonna get to see Grampa real soon, and that’ll sure make Grampa happy!
Linda: Wow, honey. You sure did great for your first session. What a joy you are.
Me: You’re a joy, too. I love you Linda.
Linda: I love you, too, Lisa.
And Linda and Me,
We hugged, and hugged, and hugged.
The end.
For now!
I’ll be back!
You guys know that by now!
I love all ‘o u guys!
Especially u Laura.
: )

And ifya wanna help
and make sure more
folks like Laura don't die
from Cancer, try clicking
this link and
seeing whatcha can do
to help:

Dedicated to my newest friend, Ms. Shay Lynn.

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