Friday, February 10, 2012
Once Upon A Time There Was A Fractured Party; The Republican Party; A Happy Ending Story!
Is that a rupture I hear at CPAC?
It sure as heck ain't Rapture! Lol!
Time to take advantage of the Republicans'
a Guns 'n Roses prescription for we Democrats!
It's time to bury that party once and for all!
Once upon a time, there was a land called America, pronounced Uh-Mare-Uh-Cuh, and it was named for some forgotten reason after an Italian dude named Amerigo Vespucci. I know Vespucci wasn’t famous for designing blue jeans or nothing like that, even though his name sounds like that, he was probably what they were calling ‘explorers’ in the 1500’s or so, just because they had big fancy ships outfitted by royalty and staffed to the teeth. These guys ran around one half of the planet, the Western half (hemisphere) claiming to be discovering places where people were already living. A guy named Christopher Columbus was given credit for ‘discovering’ America, even though there was a big civilization of native folks with a sophisticated culture here already, just minding their own business. Amerigo probably made some good food, pizza and zitis and what-not, so maybe they figgered they’d give him the rights to the name of the place. Funny thing was that not only America the country, but the two continents on the Western side of this planet were all named after Amerigo and I don’t think one person’s left who can give one good reason why there’s a United States of America, a North America AND a South America! Lol!
So Columbus actually came over, financed by a SuperPac funded by the Spanish Royals, Isabelle and Ferdinand and claimed credit for discovering “America.” He actually stopped in the Caribbean, I think, and counted his blessings enjoying some surf ‘n turf on the islands for the most part before heading back to Iberia to give the keys to the continent to the Spaniards. Ya see, ol’ Amerigo and Christopher, they were from a continent known as Europe, and all those folks looked a lot alike, real pale, kinda white actually, compared to most other folks on the planet. Whenever one of these white guys planted their feet on a piece of land, they declared it “discovered” regardless of how many people were there already. It was kinda as if nobody else really mattered but these European white guys, so if anybody else was there first, it really didn’t count. Everybody else was basically a bunch of savages in this outlook.
So there you have it, America, divvied by the European white guys into 50 states and called the United States of America. Exactly how united those states should be, whether it was one country or 50, was the subject of debate between federalists and states’ rights people (the states’ rights people liked giving the states the final say, because it gave them a better shot at controlling those folks with darker skin and what-not).
And so America went, plodding along for a couple of centuries, almost three in fact, without much distinction. Then in the middle of the twentieth century, they won a huge war, and developed these bombs which could wipe out millions of folks all at once. America got power hungry and began to want lots of money and goods in exchange for their new found ability to threaten the rest of mankind. So that’s what they did, they dominated the world militarily and economically for 50 or 60 years after dropping two of these super-scary nuclear bombs in 1945 and winning Nuclear War I!
The leaders of the government, which decided whether and where they’d attack next and such, were always members of one of two political parties. In the 1800’s the Republicans were the good guys, and actually fought a war so the Democrats couldn’t own darker skinned folks as slaves; rape ‘em, use them for servants, torture ‘em, force ‘em to work without pay or even feeding ‘em right and what-not. At some point the tables turned and the Republicans became the Democrats and the Democrats became the Republicans. A great darker skinned guy, a religious man named Martin King led a movement to advance the cause of the folks who looked more like him and at that point it seems that the polarities of the parties began reversing, and now the real segregationist party is the Republican Party. In King’s day it was the Democrats in the southern half of America who opposed him. White guy politicians like Lester Maddox and George Wallace were Democrats who shouted ‘segregation now, segregation forever!’
It’s totally reversed now, and the segregationists down south are all Republicans like Haley Barbour, a guy just like George Wallace except 40 years later and a different party label. They’re just as whacked-out a group of intolerant bastards as their former John Birchers and Ku Klux Klanners (real whack-o white guys who despise giving anybody who looks any different any chance at anything).
Then all of a sudden things changed. In America there was a Women’s Liberation movement, an anti-war movement, and Bob Dylan sang songs about getting outa the road if ya can’t lend a hand for the times they are a changin’ and what-not. Then: BABOOM! The Democrats ran two people for the nomination for President; that’s the person chiefly in charge of who to attack and where to launch wars and what-not; who were different than ever before. One a WOMAN the other a real dark guy like Martin King! And guess what; the darker guy won! And he has this really funny name that sounds like a fruit smoothie instead of your average white guy’s name, BARACK OBAMA! WHOAH SEZ THE REPUBLICAN PARTY!
This scared the bejesus outa the Republicans! BIG-TIME. They wound up trying to create a movement they called the “Tea Party” which threatened to replace the Republican Party altogether for about 30 seconds, because of white-guy wealthy-guy fear of other-colored and gendered folks actually being allowed to decide who to go to war against and what-not! That failed almost overnight. The “Tea Party” went bust as quickly as it arose. So now this guy with the Fruit Smoothie name has accomplished quite a bit in the meantime. It seems the last President was a Republican named Dubya who launched two badly selected wars and fought them so badly that he stalemated them for nearly TEN years! He let 19 guys with plastic box cutters breach security and knock down two skyscrapers, hit the national military headquarters and kill nearly 3,000 folks in a single day. And he ran the economy into the ground worse than ever except once before, earning that economy the not-so-distinctive title “The Great Recession” and people were having their homes foreclosed on by greedy banks at record rates!
The Smoothie President, Barack Obama killed the guy who knocked off the skyscrapers, started adding jobs to the economy, brought back the auto industry, and changed the rules on the mega-banks and more! So 2 full years before the American people were supposed to elect a new guy or reelect Mr. Obama to decide where to go to war and what-not, the Republican Party was in disarray. The “Tea Party” was a problem, every major Republican candidate thought they had to please them. The Republicans who were supposed to be working WITH Barack Obama to decide things publicly proclaimed that they wouldn’t and that their only goal was to beat him in the next election (do YOU think his skin color just might have had something to do with it??? Lol) and tried to stalemate him at every turn—yet still he got tons accomplished. So 2 years ahead of time ya had nearly a dozen different Republicans trying to get the Presidency, including some absolutely funnier-than-hell types like Sarah “No teleprompter for me I have the palm of my hand” Palin; The Donald “PT Barnum” Trump; Michelle “Twisted as a Pretzel” Bachmann; Herman “Art Project” Cain; Tim “I better get out now cuz I might win” Pawlenty; Newt “Immoral as they come” Grinchgin; Rick “No contraceptives” Santorum; Rick “How dumb am I” Perry; The Donald “I’m Fired” Trump; Ron “Mr. Anarchy” Paul; Willard “Which way do I turn” Romney; and more all making a comedy spectacle outa the Republican race for President. OMG! Letterman, Leno, Stuart, Colbert and company never had it so good!
Judy Collins asks for it:
Send in the Clowns!
The reality is that the Republican Party is disintegrating. If the Democratic Party thinks beyond one election cycle at a time (please see my article entitled "DEMOCRATIC PARTY PLATFORM -2012-THE UNABASHED VERSION" and linked here: http://unabashedleft.blogspot.com/2011/11/democratic-party-platform-2012.html). This once ‘loyal’ opposition party is crumbling as we speak. And well it should, ever since the Nixon Administration this party has been problematic for the safety of the nation, our economy and the world from a military standpoint. We need to bury it for good and have no mercy on it. We need to trounce them at the polls this November and beyond and have the opportunity, that much is now evident